Friday, February 17, 2012

When we dim our Light for others...

I found myself awake yet another night...tossing and turning and staring at the clock. It was past midnight. I know that I should stop consuming so much television coverage on Whitney Houston - especially before bed.  I looked within to find a reason why I may be engrossing in the subject and in this tragic loss so much.

As noted in a previous post, I loved Whitney Houston as a music artist. I posted this about her on Twitter today after watching her 2009 interview with Oprah Winfrey last night:

" Holly, after I watched 's interview with #Whitney last night, I realized something. Her light shined SO brightly...she channeled her voice from the highest heavenly place. Any time God calls someone forward like that, darkness/the enemy/the devil/dark forces -- whatever you want to call them...will try any and everything to take that person down and destroy them. My heart broke when she talked about even when she was lacing her joints with cocaine, she was still reading her bible and praying hard...Even though she was succumbing to the temptation of the temporary relief of drugs and alcohol, she always, as she said, had that fight in her. I believe it was a spiritual battle up until the very end."

Whitney Houston Shining Her Light

Whitney Houston revealed in her interview with Oprah that she was a victim of domestic violence and emotional abuse in her own home. This powerful, amazing singer with a gift straight from God was trying to "dim her light," as Oprah put it, in order to please her husband and tend to his jealousy of her power and success.

I thought of someone in my life...someone I care about very much. She, too, is someone who could be a powerful force, yet she is choosing to be in relationship with someone who hurts her verbally, emotionally, physically, and dare I say, beyond that.

Other family members and I recently helped her to leave this abusive person. She was getting stronger. She found another place to live and sounded in good spirits, though she frequently mentioned being afraid of him finding her.  That's why we were all shocked when she agreed to meet up with him to "exchange some belongings." He wooed her right back into his web of deception, and the cycle of domestic violence begins again with the honeymoon stage. They are together again. I asked her if she is with him against her will. She denies this.

I have been feeling sad and helpless from the sidelines. I have lost sleep and peace. I had to decide that I must not let this situation and this person's choice continue to rob me of my joy and to affect my health. I must not believe that I can be her savior. I was thinking about all that she had been through in her life, from the time she was a child. I discussed it with my boyfriend, who responded,

"You can't go back in time and change all that..." and "she's not ready."  I will continue to love her, but I am implementing boundaries that protect my heart and my life as well.  I have taken a hiatus from speaking with her. She doesn't seem to mind. I guess she's too busy listening to his promises again.

Hearing Whitney's story reminded me of this person. She could also be such a light for good. She has the desire and the ability...God, please give her the strength.


Domestic Violence Resources:

National Domestic Violence Hotline:   1−800−799−SAFE(7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224.

National Resource Center on Domestic Violence

National Coalition Against Dometsic Violence

Addiction and Substance Abuse Help:

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration: 
"Confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing substance abuse and mental health issues:" 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

Suicide Prevention Help:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273- TALK (8255)         


  1. RIP Whitney. Im sorry about your friend.I too have seen behavior like this and had lost a friend because of it. I had to let the friend go and realize for themselves what thus person was doing. In this situation it was two girls and sadly girls hcan be just a violent to their significant others. Since they were lesbians people didn't recognize the acutal abuse it was played off as girls being catty bee-yatches. One.time.they broke up for a couple of weeks started to see some signs. But sure enough they got.back.together. it took losing me, her money, and a bloody nose before she left her. It went on for 2 yrs. The best thing is to step away even though that's your.friend and u want to help them so much because u love.them, but u can't. They need to see it themselves. All we.can that the wool will be taken off.their eyes. Know.that YOU dis the best u could, it it's going to take HER to get out of it. We love ya Debbie and we are here for you. :)

  2. Oh a d my friend a f I are friends again :) also she is back with her true love her first girlfriend which I TS her she would always end up with. So things turned out great for her and I hope it does for your friend too!

  3. Thank you for writing this.


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