Sunday, December 11, 2011

What I learned from Rachel Crow on The X-Factor

While I am by no means a die hard fan of the talent show, "The X-Factor," I did begin to tune in as the number of contestants started to dwindle and some true stars began to emerge.  One of those stars is a 13-year old girl named Rachel Crow.

Photo courtesy of

For weeks, Rachel impressed, amazed, and touched the hearts of beings worldwide. The pint-sized singer's presence and voice emit an energy that have made many wonder if she is an old soul - perhaps a reincarnated diva from a more soulful era.

Her vocals seem effortless and are often delivered in perfection and confidence.

When Rachel faced elimination on last week's show, she competed against another contestant, and the judges took a vote.

With four judges total, two voted that Rachel's competitor be sent home, one voted for her to be eliminated, and the final judge - who held Rachel's fate in the competition in her hands, "refused" to vote, causing the competition to come to a deadlock. It was now up to America to decide. 

The judge who opted for the gridlock cried and looked incredibly uncomfortable and awkward as she announced that though she didn't want to do it, she was voting to send Rachel home so that the score would be even: 2 votes for her, and 2 votes for her competitor.

Young Rachel said to the judge, "Don't cry. I'm fine either way."

But she wasn't.

The show's host opened a card and revealed that the contestant with the lowest number of votes and who was going to be eliminated from the competition in that moment, was Rachel Crow.

Rachel had been staring straight ahead. Her eyes widened, and she fell to the floor, inconsolably wailing.  The judge who sent the competition to a gridlock by voting that Rachel be sent home began to shake, cry, and also become inconsolable.

Photo of Rachel Crowe on The X-Factor courtesy of

What did I learn from this whole ordeal?

1.) Speak your TRUTH.

The Judge...

The judge said that she didn't really want to have to say that she was sending Rachel home - that she just wanted to even the score so that America's votes could determine who would move on in the competition. She didn't seem willing to take responsibility for a choice, but anyone watching knew that she, indeed, was making a choice.

Judging from the judge's reaction, she was not expecting Rachel to be sent home. 

We need to speak our truth. If we don't really want to say something, let's not say it. Let's act from intention. If the judge did not want to Rachel to be sent home, as difficult as it may have been for her to send the other contestant home, in order to walk in integrity, I believe that's was really what she probably needed to do. Some might argue that the judge's entire ordeal was a strategic move to eliminate the most talented contestant so that the her own protégé  would have a better chance at winning, but we may never know this.


Rachel told the deadlocking judge that she shouldn't cry and that she would be fine with whatever outcome occurred. Judging from Rachel's reaction when she learned that she would be going home that night, this wasn't true either. If we want something bad, let's be honest about it. Let's advocate for ourselves in a respectful way that conveys our passion and determination while respecting others. It's OK to really, really want something, and it's ok to express that. It's also ok to express when and if we will not be okay with something.

Rachel is still very young, and none of what I am saying is meant to criticize her or the judge. These are simply my own internal assessments and lessons that my heart has received.

2.) Never Assume.

Never assume that we know what others have decided, or that we've won, or that we are invincible. Never assume that your actions will not have an effect on others around you and create a ripple effect. Positive or negative, they always do.

What did you learn from witnessing this experience?



  1. OMG i didnt see it, but i cried reading this ~debbie~

  2. Thank you so much for your comment, Debbie!


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