Friday, August 20, 2010

Who we are at the Core (The essence of your Soul & Your Inner Child)

I have been ridiculously busy lately. Without bogging you down with the boring details, lets just say I haven't had a lot of quality time to myself, and when I have, I've felt so exhausted that I felt I could only muster up the strength to watch some tv or click around on Facebook.

While those things have their place, I am a bit bored by both.  Yet, I have felt myself drifting away from my yoga practice recently, and, instead of judging myself for the choices I've made in place of my practicing, I am choosing to, in loving-kindness, observe the situation.

Why would I be resisting something that is normally a part of my internal balance on a body-mind-spirit level? It's almost like resisting eating healthy foods for junk food or avoiding exercise and being a couch potato.  The healthy choice is obvious, but for some reason, we are rebelling.

Then I realized - I have not been giving much attention to my inner child, with whom I've had quite an interesting relationship with over the years.

For so much of  my adult life, she's run the show.  Most of the time I was oblivious to it, then I became conscious of it (but had no real idea of how to deal with the situation), then I asked others who are spiritually wise, and it's been a back and forth situation of slipping into unconscious patterns where she's running the show and of me completely (again, unconsciously) excluding her from my everyday life.

Many of us who come from difficult pasts that affected our lives as young children will have this situation arise.  The lessons come slowly, one at a time, as you're ready.

I am a free spirit and very childlike by nature.  Chances are, I always will be. I am happy most of the time and expect that everyone is good at heart and that things will always work out, one way or another.  This way of being really doesn't feel like a choice - it's who I am.

Sometimes, I am more vulnerable than someone with thicker skin or a different perspective, but I wouldn't trade in who I am in this lifetime, at the soul level, to be any other way.  Life brings us back to this planet as human beings to try, try again. We learn, we grow, but there is an essence to our souls that stays with us through all of our incarnations. I am me. And, you are you.

Sometimes our inner children may show up in ways such as: eating lots of junk food for no good reason...procrastinating on chores...ditching responsibilities to do something that's more fun, or by breaking us out of routines - even our Yoga practice.

May you acknowledge and embrace your inner child.  May you ask her what she needs in order to feel loved and protected that you are able to feel a sense of wholeness.  May you feel the magic of your core being - who you are at a soul level -  that part of you that continues on lifetime after lifetime.  And may you release harsh judgments of yourself and others as we acknowledge that we are all on this journey together.

Debbie aka Sulilo

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