How I'm Dealing with my "Hang Over"

For most of my life, I've been quite petite and within or under the normal weight range for my height.  I struggled with body image and disordered eating as a teenager and into early adulthood, and with media images constantly bombarding us with messages that thin is beautiful, it is difficult not to at times be influenced and made to feel bad about oneself.

To add insult to injury, when I am under extreme stress (i.e., death of a loved one), my appetite all but goes away, and I have a power struggle with this very basic need essential to all beings on this planet.  It's interesting how, in survival mode, our reactions, perceptions, and behaviors are colored by the experiences we've had, the lessons we've been taught, and the stories we've come to believe over the years. As soon as I feel calm and better again, I eat like a horse.

But the truth is that the thin image that models and actresses are pressured to aspire to are rarely healthy.  For me, healthy means having a good appetite, eating when I am hungry, and not depriving myself - even of sweets and such, as long as its in moderation (and sometimes not, i.e., about once a month).

One of the women I admire the most, Audrey Hepburn, also dealt with disordered eating. She was part of a family that was involved in politics during the Holocaust times and often hid with her family without access to food for a week at a time.  This unfortunately set her up to have a dysfunctional relationship with food, though she survived well into old age, having somehow made peace and found a balance (though she is said to have been on the Atkins diet long before it was ever heard of and was said to have thrown a fit when directed to eat a pastry in a scene of "Breakfast at Tiffany's.")

Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's

The body image that I would love  to see "come back in fashion" is that of Marilyn Monroe.  At the beginning of her career, she was a size 8, and toward the end of her too-short life, she was a size 10, according to this woman who had an amazing opportunity to try on some of Marilyn's costumes.

Marilyn was voluptuous, sensual, and - let's just say it - she had curves and meat on her bones. 

Marilyn Monroe doing Yoga

In my current state of PMS, there were 4 incidents that led me to write this particular blog post today:

1.) My friend, Celebrity MakeUp Artist Kandee Johnson just blogged about how to not let things get in the way of believing that you can achieve big things.  You can read her blog post here.

Me and the Ever Beautiful Kandee Johnson in 2010

The part that caught my eye this morning was:

"And don't listen to the dream-stopper lies that try to prevent your dream from happening...
your never:too fat or thin, not attractive enough.....(Oprah has struggled with her weight, but she became the most powerful women (person) in the media...true talent doesn't have a size or a beauty rating! I've seen some "pretty" people that were the ugliest people I've ever seen, and no one wanted them around!)" ~ Kandee Johnson


If you're into beauty, makeup, and beautiful free spirits who spread joy, consider following Kandee on YouTube and Facebook.


2.) One of my young followers on Twitter tweeted that she hates being fat and feels disgusting. She is a petite model, same height as me, and weighs 3 pounds less.  She wants to lose 15 more pounds.

3.) I noticed some serious "hang over" today.  My pants are definitely tighter than they were a year ago, and the muffin top is not pretty.  I had a moment where I really judged myself in disgust...I needed to shift that into compassion and acceptance.  In fact, I watched a video yesterday that I promised myself I would watch to have a laugh whenever I get down on myself for having gained a bit of weight.  I need to just buy some new pants already.

4.) The video I came across, thanks to my friend Gabby.  Warning, it has some colorful language, but you may find it comical, and it may hit home. It's called "The Top 5 Reasons to Be Fat."



I know I am not the only one who needs some comical relief about this issue.  In yoga, we learn to love and accept our bodies where we are at, and we naturally, as time goes on, integrate healthier habits into our lives, learn to listen to our body's cues, and we learn to accept others as they are.

May we continue to show ourselves love and to strive for healthy bodies while we are on this planet.

Namaste,
Debbie aka Sulilo